I wonder if bitterness is something everyone embraces more as we get older. Perhaps. Life has a way of beating you up at certain times. One day you could be blissful for something wonderful happening in your life. Next day, you wake up and one small shitty thing happened to add to your mountain-high, life’s worth of shitty things that just keep piling up. It seems that there would never, ever be a balance between the good and the bad; the bad pile just keeps getting heavier, too, every soul-sucking day of your life. And sometimes you just want it all to stop, to change, or to end.
Unless you have something to live for.
As long as you have that, I think you’ll be okay.
We’re all in the same fucking boat, as much as most of us think everyone is quite.different from us. Nobody is immune from the annoyances and grievances of life. We all dread making a fool of ourselves and getting out of the house (
sometimes most times). And dealing with difficult people who you’re too reluctant to cut ties with. And having to do laundry. And having to do things we don’t like for a living just to survive comfortably. We all have to do things we don’t like.
Some people are just better at coping with it than others, really. I admire people much older than me who still manage to be positive about life. I find that so attractive. Who doesn’t? (I don’t like people who think or pretend that life is always good, though. Come on, that’s too desperate and off-putting and fake and just not my tub of ice cream.)
I think what these people have is something they truly care for. Something making them willing to work and try to make the world–this cruel, difficult, judgmental, diverse, fun, compassionate, beautiful world–we live in a better place.
**Just now, I exchanged I love you’s with my soulmate as he writes a sports article, both of us listening to a music box medley on YouTube…and me saying, “Ugh, fuck!” shortly because my leg has gone numb from the prolonged position I put myself in while writing this blog post. Isn’t life beautiful?**
I wonder if these bitter people lost that thing they are willing to live for. I hope they find it back, or something even better.