I am currently writing a book.
Let me repeat that: I am currently going through hell trying to type words hoping it would one day end up as something most rational creatures would consider a book.
Trying to finish a novel is different from creating short stories, essays, and say, a blog post. Mostly it’s because it needs one stubborn ass of a determined typing
idiot person , and skill if you’d be honest (talent, um, well maybe that too…but many novels apparently lack a touch of that. Yes, I’m Miss Judgeymonster).
I have never finished a novel before. Never. I have tried but I never even reached halfway of traditional novel length before I gave up and let it rot in my hard drive.
Maybe it was the lack of will, maybe it was life getting in the way, maybe I have some form of ADHD, maybe it was blah blah shitty shitty ah.
But for now, I’m publishing this and will never take it out because I wanted a sort of reminder that would be shared possibly with one or two, maybe five people at the most who’d bother to read this. Something that might make you say, “Hey, how’s that book writing going on?” Yeah, and I’d have to squirm and feel nauseating guilt rushing up from my guts as I’d try to let out a comprehensible answer and not just “HE HE bookglargglarg EH UM wadafuckchutalkingabout ERrggG”
This time, I want to finish a first completed draft that would inevitably, absofuckinlutely suck salty ass.
That is all. It’s one little step at a time, right? But yeah, I plan to kick my butt into writing everyday to add up to the pages of my future book. And I’m gonna do this for as long as it takes to retch the story out from my creative brainmuck. And damn me to writer hell if I stop in the middle of the tormenting, monster-filled road to novel completion this time.
*stares silently in space.
Yeah. I am currently writing a book.