Those who hang out with me long enough know that I’m rather fond of theories. No, not the academic type. Like yuck? E=mc² means fungus to me. I’m talking about “practical” theories. I enclosed the practical under those squiggly punctuation because like anything, practicality is subjective. To me, being practical is just like when I’ve learned how to pick my battles. That is a practical skill.
Sometimes though, I totally forget it.
Now theories. See, I have this new theory. I’m sounding like a pretentious fool claiming it as mine when for all I know it has already been said before. But then again, only bona fide fools think like that. Even you if you actually think of that right now. For everything has in fact been already said before. We just keep on rediscovering things, tweaking with them a bit, and voila! We think of these ideas as ours. Well that’s how the world works. We’re all selfish that way.
But without further blah-blah, this is “my” recycled theory:
There are four kinds of people: those who live in the past, the ones who live in the present, and the ones who live for the future. The fourth kind lives in another dimension.
Now let me expand on that using the idiot’s favorite format–BULLETS!
- Psychiatrists mostly make a living out of the last one. But they are all qualified to be his patients anyway. Even himself. I don’t know why I’m using a masculine pronoun. I must be sexist-masochist.
- People who live in the past usually includes, but are not limited to: people with terminal illness, Nazi supporters, Republicans, people who use a manual typewriter, historians, your grandparents living in the country, monarchy advocates, Catholics, the villagers in the Shyamalan film The Village, and heartbroken, bitter exes.
- Those who live in the present are either or all of the following:
- -junkies who never had, don’t, and will never have enough money for their junk
- -Justin Bieber
- -those blinded by their youth/beauty/energy/bank account balance
- -those afraid of responsibility
- -buddhists, yogis, and other New Age enthusiasts, witches and satanists (pseudo or real) included
- -those wanting to escape their pasts but are just as terrified of their future because it might be just the same as their pasts; think Mobius strip.
- -those belonging in the Homeless Society
- -those still on the recovery phase (of anything at all)
- The ones who live for the future includes only three types:
- –Geeks (overly sci-fi fan or not)
- -the Oppressed (i.e. war victims, aesthetically-oppressed a.k.a that ugly kid on your mom’s wallet picture 20-or-more years ago, oppressed by gravity’s force a.k.a obese people, Blondes, couples idiotic enough to raise kids, interestingness-oppressed a.k.a Bores, Hippies who say things like ”Our vacuous hoarding of stuff is a leash around our necks, a symbol of our insecurities and petty status-envy,“ while living in this consumer world.)
- -the Misanthropes–very giddy to see the onset of Armageddon, this one. As if they don’t see it happening every day yet. Idiots…
Well that’s basically it. As you might have smartly noticed, I have classified humanity and gave us another set of labels to attach to each other. I love us all that much. And because of that, I want to end this with a note to all possible readers, bots and nonbots alike, that if you think I have been politically incorrect (like, I have been obese-ist, family-ist, or other -ist crap) and are wishing to learn my house had been a crashing site for the debris of another failed North Korean missile launch, I have five words for you:
Ain't life a bizarre contradiction?P.S. The theory has just been updated! It now includes The Fifth Kind. Not much is certain except this group having learned to cross the boundaries of time, dimensions, and labels (ironic as that may sound, but yeah). Are you one of us? I’m still not asking you, idiots. P.P.S. If you have not yet seen Blindness, please, PLEASE DO. 🙂