Talking to Strangers: The Lost Art

I am not what certain types of people would call approachable–I learned that as early as kindergarten. Earlier this day, a guy tried to talk to me on the ride home; nothing important, just small talk and the attempts of getting my number. This happens to me a lot. It doesn’t point out how much of a looker I am, because I’m not, but rather how much I attract creeps. Basically, it’s because of the uterus-possession thing. Believe me, people will sense it if you have other intentions besides harmless talk. Of course, some people’s purpose behind anything they do is to find a bedmate. I’m not talking about those people. Okay, I’ll include them, but what I’m really talking about is people in general.

The guy tried to start a conversation with this line, “So where do you live?” Ding! That’s CreepAlertNo.1. Seriously–not even a “hi/hey” or a smile or the usual Weather Line? No, you rush to the ‘Where Do You Live’ part. Aside from revealing you have stalker tendencies, you’re also disclosing how you’re so used to getting your way and have not yet met Subtlety. That works for some, but not everyone–especially me. Of course, being a member of society who answers direct questions when asked, I answered him without going into details. Inside my head, I was saying “Please let him stop, please let me look like I don’t want to talk, like I found something disgusting, particularly him…

Then he asked, “You really live there? Where in particular?” HE. WANTS. DETAILS. That’s absolutely CreepAlertNo. 2. I mean, come on, if you really want to talk, don’t start off by asking too many personal details–especially about where I live! Are you not familiar with horror/suspense movie plots? I am. It’s enough to make any sane person paranoid to divulge their addresses to complete strangers, much more to strangers who look like you. Let’s be honest: looks do matter. You don’t have to look like Chris Evans to want me to talk to you (but I’d love it if you do). All I’m asking is for you to be somehow hygienic and not make the world a dirtier/smellier place because you exist.

And it would also help if you wouldn’t have CreepAlertNo. 3 a.k.a Being a Pest.

Creep Alert

ANGRY GIRL

I didn’t mean that to be police-ist or anything (well, maybe I do…). Anyway, that question made me rush into my room when I got home, stare into something, and ask: “Mirror, mirror on the wall, do I look like a fucking policeman’s wife at all?

I despaired. I don’t mean any offense, honestly, but my mental image of a policeman’s wife would be a serious looking missus way older than the jeans and shirt, flip-flops-wearing me. (yes, I stereotype). Maybe it’s my glasses? Specs make most people look older. But then I saw The Ring. On my left hand, you could always see a watch and a ring on the ring finger, you know, the “Wedding Ring”. Ha! So that was what gave him an idea I could be married, why to a policeman I don’t know. Maybe he just thought policemen marry young girls if they could (yes, I just called myself young).

I wouldn’t blame him for it though.

To sum it up, if you want to make a conversation with anyone at all, try to: 1.Look “safe”/like you’re not a crackhead out on a stabbing spree. 2. Look for the right person to talk with; someone who looks like he/she might be interested, not someone with headsets on. 3. Don’t start anything without a smile or a ‘hi’ or something generic/casual first, idiot–90 percent of the things in this world is Foreplay. 4. If all else fails, don’t be a pest, and go look for your next victim.

And 5? Don’t call any uterus-bearing specie a policeman’s wife. Unless you’re pretty damn sure she is.

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16 thoughts on “Talking to Strangers: The Lost Art

    1. Haha, poor M! More sadly, I don’t think there is a surefire way to avoid this certain population other than to rip-off your uterus and other associated womanly hormones, and to grow a decent beard. But I don’t consider that at the moment, so I’m still stuck at trying to master the Leave Me Alone face. But I’m really still a novice…any tips? 😉

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    1. Sheesh, you’re too kind, Diane! Thanks. 🙂 Maybe someday when I’m a much better writer perhaps? Haha, those seasoned writers will only murder me out there. I hear they lose their sense of humor when it comes to competition. Scaaaary…

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  1. Ha I love girl’s stories like this. I know the exact type of guy you are talking about too. They are usually very well-known by others and not particularly in a good way either. I think they lack shame. I’m so full of shame that the first sign a girl may ever not like me I give up on pursuing. I don’t pursue often either. The best was when my friend made us talk to these two hot blondes and they rolled their eyes. I told them how boring they were then left. My friend stayed and apparently they liked me better when I was honest/mean.

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    1. Hahahahahaha! Remind me not to roll my eyes when I’m around you, okay? You mean, you…

      Do those “creeps” irritate you guys, too, or what? They’re absolutely in the Top 5 of my pet peeves even though I have yet to make that list. LOL, I remember your train bumping-knees incident but I wouldn’t actually classify that as creep move. That’s too mild. And that’s a good thing so don’t start having any ideas.
      There are some girls who actually like it if they’re with a “bad boy”, you know? Lots of them, actually. I have friends who are attracted to bad boys. Yeah, they’re attractive in a way, but not really my type. I’m not too much of a masochist, I think. That’s not a masochist-ist thing, is it? I hate the invention of political correctness.

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      1. A lot of girls also don’t understand the difference between a bad boy and a jerk-off. A lot of guys don’t understand it either. Girls want an anti-hero, not a villain.

        And yes. These lakes really annoy me. I hate any lake who approaches a girl and his intentions way too obvious. At least make the pond (I’m assuming pond means girl) wanting more. Sheesh. I’m clueless and even I know that.

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      2. You’re C-R-A-ZY, that’s what you are!!! Oh gawd, lake and pond, really… 😀

        And you are right. They’re the boringest/scariest lakes there is. If you must know, it is pronounced as lah-key. (lah like the ba in Simba, accented in the first syllable). So I LOL’d with the pond thing, really. Geez…we call girls babae (pronounced ba as in Simba again, accented in the second syllable, and the e is soft I think, like in eggplant). Why am I giving you tutorials?

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      3. Touché. We never know, you could be Earth’s last hope someday. *snorts* And the language is Visayan–one of the four or five major languages here. There’s still a hundred more dialects. Okay, I’ll stop being a know-it-all.

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  2. LOL.. I usually switch into my “Taray” mode look.. *switching now* Can you see it? 🙂

    Tips: Switch the attention to him and fire as many question as you can , so that he does not have to ask you another question again hehehe .. works all the time.

    Bisaya sab ka?

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