SILENCE: My Worst Stand-up Comedy Performances and Experiences (2013)

You should read this book because Tim Boyle is the sexiest man alive.

HE thinks this is sexy.
HE thinks this is sexy.

If that is not enough reason then you must be a guy–a fat guy who wants to kill sexy men. All the more reason why you should buy the book. Why? Find it out on Chapter 6. Or maybe it was 7.

All kidding aside, this book is a must-read for anyone who had fought and lost. That means everyone past Justin Bieber fan age. With a bare-all, punch-in-the-gut combos writing style that could either make you laugh out loud or whimper in agony, this book is as much funny as it is sad. And the combination is lethal, completely fulfilling what it has set out to do.

DO NOT expect for glory moments. Cringe-worthy, laugh-out-loud, “Oh shi–that’s just like me!”, “Uugh, yuck!”, “Gosh. I’m glad it’s not me”, “Awww, poor Timmy, he’s so young to have LUNG CANCER…”, “Oh, that’s so true!”, “WHAT THE F^#@!”–those are the moments you should watch out for.

It’s like a Friday night My Life Sucks session with your long lost crazy (in a good way) friend.

My life sucks because I use memes.
My life sucks because I use memes.

Hilarious, wise, gut-wrenching, a REAL book with as much forgivable faults (i.e. minor glitches in grammar, no actual photos of the author taking it on-stage–bah…) as a real person–this is a book both stand-up comedians and people who haven’t even seen the insides of a comedy club (i.e. me) will enjoy. If you have/had a dream and did/doing all you could to reach that very elusive star, this book’s also for you. If you’re someone who frequently have those “I wish the ground will open up and eat me”-embarrassing moments or if you’re a young, aspiring comedian, then WHAT THE HEY ARE YOU STILL WAITING FOR?!

(Note: This is NOT a Disney book. EXPECT four-letter words.)

All you need is a healthy dose of empathy to enjoy this book (read: just be human). Very relatable to the extent that even dogs with enough empathy could actually enjoy it. What do you mean am I sure? How would I know–I don’t even have a dog!

But you’re not a dog, are you? Thought so. Just try it.

Why would I want to have someone to boss me around my place like he owns my stuff?!
Why would I want to have someone to boss me around my place like he owns my stuff?!

Really, unless you’re an unfeeling cyborg with no funny or any other bone, you would never regret it. 🙂

The worst thing a comedian can hear is silence. When a comedian tells a joke and there is no response, he dies a little bit inside. –Tim Boyle

Get it here.


24 thoughts on “SILENCE: My Worst Stand-up Comedy Performances and Experiences (2013)

    1. Smak’s boneless and Tim’s writing is undignified. And I’m a baboon with a hairy backside.

      PS. I want to kill sexy men too. Because right now, all they want for themselves are other sexy men. What’ll happen to us uterus owners now?!


  1. Aww you’re sweet. I just hope when I said “can you write a review?” (did I say that to you?) that you know I meant on Amazon. Either way I’m going to post this on Facebook and pretend I don’t know you.

    I guess you could say I’m working on the prequel right now aka stories of shitty things that happened to me which made me such a mean-spirited person later on.


    1. I’m made of sugar and everything nice, aren’t I?

      Actually I intended to write the review on Amazon days ago right after I finished the book, but for some reason I can’t do it with my account. Such a pain in the ass! I’ll copy and paste this though once I sort it out. I’m too lazy to write another review, haha!

      With that prequel you mean those stories of you and the girls you dated or is that a new one?


      1. Whatever you can do is helpful for me. Somebody paid for a copy yesterday so I guess you get some credit?

        Both sort of? I have two really good ideas for more autobiographical essay things. I figure they can become popular after do something bigger like kill someone famous. The titles I came up with are catchier. Who knows? I think I also have to do some kind of social experiment and write about that experience.


      2. Now that’s long-term thinking! I think those are great ideas. A lot too. And unlike me you don’t seem to procrastinate on things. So I don’t have anyone to blame but myself if you become famous and I don’t, ha. Do you already have a specific social experiment in mind? Nah, don’t tell me. I might be tempted to copy it and steal your chance for stardom.


      3. Nope, no idea planned. All you have to do these days is come up with a social experiment then get some college filmmaker to record it. I have thought about becoming a fake Catfish just to get some attention.


      4. Oh I see. I thought it was a 2010 American film, directed by Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman, involving a young man being filmed by his brother and friend as he builds a romantic relationship with a young woman on the social networking website Facebook. But wikipedia must be wrong. That must be the boringest movie plot in existence. And your definition is waaay better. Do it.


      5. You might be able to see the episodes on that’s where I watched them. It’s actually pretty good. The strangest thing is I know people in real life who have/still do it.


  2. I have read this book, and agree with everything you said. I killed it on a Friday night (eerie that you mentioned that); wanted to just read one chapter and got sucked it. Tim is a great writer, and a funny man, or a funny writer and a great man. Well, at least he’s a writer and a man. I think. I’ve been Catfished one too many times.


    1. LOL about the Friday night! 😀 That confirms it: Friday’s got a lot to do with this book. (Yo Tim, heard that? You should take note of FRIDAYS–maybe it’s your lucky day!)

      The book is un-put-downable, isn’t it? I started reading intending to read just the first chapter but the writer’s voice hooks you in you’re already deep before you know it. And you’re right about TIm–him being great and funny. But about being a man? Uh…hmm…I dunno


  3. Eating the dick of death on stage is one of the worst experiences. I once bombed in front of 10,000 Wynonna Judd fans. Just the tidal wave of anger crashing over me. After the show I nearly ran my car into a tree I was so devastated. I usually tell everyone who wants to do stand-up to try it at least once, but to keep the audience below 100.


    1. The DIck of Death is certainly something I wouldn’t want on any menu.

      Did those fans throw anything at you? (Tim said in his book some teens threw gum at him once on-stage.) I could only imagine how terrible you must have felt. I didn’t have any idea of the pains you must have suffered after eating it on stage before I read Tim’s book and hearing from you. Now I have a fairly good one.

      I would never be someone to try stand-up comedy. *shivers* But I’ll gladly do the laughing part, ha!


      1. I had a white supremacist get up and rush me during a show, but he was so drunk he fell and cracked his head on a table. There was a good amount of blood.


  4. Tim’s blog is hilarious, and dark, and human. The book sounds awesome, and you’re review was really entertaining too haha 🙂

    By the way, in order to write a review on amazon you have to have bought something with that account. You can just buy a .99c ebook or something you like. After that you have to wait 48 hours and then you can review as much as you like.

    Thanks for sharing!



This is the Brain Droppings Bin--use it.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s