Profanities and A Red Ballpen: A Misdirected (?) Rant

(Do not read this if you want something cheerful/something to stop you from gulping down that whole bottle of Prozac in your hands.)

It annoys me how young people (and sadly some adults) can’t utter one sentence without having a cuss word in between these days.

Take these lines:

  1. “We’re so fucking excited to get our hands on some shit!”
  2. “What’s that you’re writing on your pussy piece of paper, you motherfucker?
  3. “Turn off that shit of a song you prick. It’s so messin’ up mah mood.”

3 lines from 3 different people in 10 minutes. No wonder I’m up for a rant.

I don’t know what happened.

Maybe I was sucked by a black hole and ended up 100 years back, but I don’t recall ever assenting to this COOL trend in speaking where the adjectives that took centuries to form are merely replaced by a set of 10 words used repetitively which has “fuck” and “shit” as the generic terms.

I know you have every right to freely express your thoughts, but so do I. And if you want to improve your tasteless attempts at communication and expect a civilized response, why not try borrowing the red ballpen of Miss Sunshine from your kindergarten class and cross out those pretty little profanities inside your head before they come out of that miserably intolerable mouth? Believe me darlings, you are making our eyes and ears an object of torture.

So why don’t we just NOT look/listen to you then, eh?

Because clearly, it’s already too late. The damage has been done. You have already ruined our once-so-cheerful/near-to-pure day. And frankly, this language you are sporting DOES NOT make you look COOL. I repeat, it DOES NOT make you look COOL and only implies two things:

  1. YOU WANT TO LOOK/SOUND TOUGH (only Santa knows what happened to you for using this defense mechanism).
  2. YOU TRY TOO HARD TO LOOK/SOUND COOL (which by the way, you aren’t. At least not on my self-righteous book. Blame it on the media for telling us popular kids swear a lot and get out of it whip-free).

Yes, I sound like a bitter self-righteous grandmomma who had her last orgasm 15 years ago (which must be false, unless last night’s toe-curling, back-arching achievement was a generous gift in the form of a dream from the Greek God of Orgasm, Who-Knows-What’s-His-Name) but I just can’t let my eyes/ears bleed anymore without having my say.

‘Till next time you foul-mouthed, effin scattered pieces of my Salmonella-infested shit!


15 thoughts on “Profanities and A Red Ballpen: A Misdirected (?) Rant

  1. I gotta say sometimes you see, eat, write or read something so good, you really wanna just wanna cuss. This amazing post makes me want to do that…but I will be good. Oh fuck it!!! This shit here is effin good :). There : it is :). Great post!!!


  2. Pussy piece of paper? Paper is kind of a wimp. Easily damaged by water and can blow away if you walk by it too quickly. The rest I agree with. But pussy piece of paper should stay.


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