I Know! I’m Going MAD

I’m completely at a loss.

I don’t know what to do, it’s not the first, but this time it’s crucial I need to know what to do. I know what I want, but unfortunately, what we want is not always what is right.

Or is it? Is it the one really important thing we need to focus our choices on?

I am torn between so many things I try to avoid thinking about them to avoid going nuts. But it’s just making everything worse because deep down I have this deep anxiety that stems from a voice saying, “You need to make a choice and you better do it quick“. It’s true really, even though I would kill whoever that punctiliously right voice belongs to (that’s right. Suicide. Pfft).

Nursing vs Arts?

Travelling vs Staying with the man I love?

Staying in vs Moving out?

Study now vs Study later?

To write vs Deleting this blog?

Ignore vs Slam the door twice to the face of the one knocking right now?

To be myself vs To conform?

Lady Gaga vs Katy Perry? (kidding, they’re both hideous. Sorry again, fans.)

To comment or To let things be?

To smile or To tell him/her his/her existence is so pathetic I wonder how he/she finds the guts to continue living?

To cry or To read?

To Publish or Not?

Argg@#$%^&*

Madness this is.

Gandhi Gone Mad!
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24 thoughts on “I Know! I’m Going MAD

  1. Choices never need to be made. Take Gandhi for instance. He couldn’t choose between hot dogs or hamburgers. He ended up not eating at all and took down the British Empire.

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    1. Conscious choices. But subconsciously we are still making a choice, right? Hmm. Going with the flow…now I can imagine myself in Gandhi’s shoes. or slippers, and the first country I will take down is..*drumrolls followed by insane laugh*

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      1. Yes, subconsiously we have a choice in all that we do, and it is typically what we WANT. It takes extra effort to go with what we NEED.

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  2. πŸ™‚
    outsider’s point of view: anything that tries to change the way you are is not right, and of course there is no right way, right?
    we all make these changes in life, but you should know that when you have to choose means something is not quite right NOW, and if you choose and still doesn’t feel right, then you can always come back to the old ways!

    PS: love does not necessarily means to poses or to have near, and true love conquers in time!

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  3. Precisely. We don’t ever have to change the way we are for something or someone. But with the pressures you feel around you, it’s not that easy to do. And if you choose something which turn out wrong, how can you be sure you will still have something to come back to? Hmm, worries. Who needs fences when you have these as barriers?
    And thanks for the insight Mica. πŸ™‚ It helped me open my mind to new things. I might write about it for my next post.
    P.S. I already experienced long-distance relationships. Doesn’t work for me. Either I don’t travel, or he travels with me. Haha :p

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  4. I really enjoyed this…It connects with where my head/ heart/ mind and all those are now. Thanks for sharing :). I’ve come to the realization that it BLOWS and SUCKS to be an adult. Great post!!!

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    1. Thanks! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ And, even if I know I musn’t, I’m happy that I’m not alone! To realize that other people also experience this means that I’m still normal because you are normal…RIGHT? You’re right by the way, being an adult scares the normalcy out of me.

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  5. fuuck…i can totally relate…how will my life b diff if i do this..if i did that…madness..am i this..am i that…y wont she answer…so many unknowns in life, its amazing we get by

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  6. I think I know this feeling. xD All I know is: always be yourself. Which is kind of cliche, but it’s one of the few things I know for definite.

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