“Seed – Planting” on BFFs and Other Oddities

Whoever first said that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and related it to parent – child relationships clearly doesn’t know my parents. Fine, that is an exaggeration. I do have some qualities possessed by…

…okay, moving on, ehem, I wanted to share the misfortune that has befallen the pathetic existence of my friend, Joan (sorry, Jo).

Joan had the revoltingly despicable perfect guy (if you’re not picky) for, say, 5 months now until she learned yesterday that he planted his seed on her best friend’s birth canal. I mean, wow, that guy must have secretly hated Joan. Or maybe the male specie just can’t control their hormones upon sight of a flirtatious human being with two protruding frontal milk reservoirs.

But whatever the reason is, I consider it an Oddity.

By definition, an Oddity is something that one either dreads to occur (occur, for it is in fact a calamity. Maybe I should have used calamity on the title. Nah, too lazy for that now…) and if it does it is impossibly difficult to dissect the mystery as to why you have allowed excess idiocy to pop up when you let it happen/did not see it coming.

Well, here is a list of the phenomena I consider as Oddities (in no particular order):

1.) BF planting seeds on BFFs V – zone 

2.) Rents telling you you’re adopted (after you’ve convinced yourself that your chinky eyes are just a manifestation of some psychosomatic disorder rooted on guilt over your porn stash)

3.) The worst hairstyle of the century (yes, on your head)

4.) Darwin’s Theory of Evolution (so obvious, I don’t know why they had to wait for Darwin to patent it)

severe case of hirsutism, folks

5.) Gas explosion in the middle of a sermon (mmm – hm, from your A – hole)

6.) YOUR cat’s reign over the furniture (I am NO guilty in owning a cat – I’ve seen too much of that anomaly)

7.) Herpes (need I say more?)

the way I look on donuts has been changed forever

8. ) Snot – bubble in the middle of laughter (…hopefully not in front of your boss)

Ugh, kids!

9.) Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore being gay (I SHOULD have seen that coming!)

alright, alright, I admit! I’m a POTTERHEAD!

10.) Falling in love (that, dear friends,  is a CALAMITY)

See? this is what I’m talking about…

So there you go, my first ten list of Oddities.That’s it. I’m done here. Now I have to inspire myself.

*All images courtesy of Google search

***P.S. Feel free to add to this list! :p

Advertisements

10 thoughts on ““Seed – Planting” on BFFs and Other Oddities

  1. This is brilliant, sorry to hear about your friend but everything else on here is literally genius.
    I think DJ’s being considered “musicians”by the general public is definitely another calamity you should mention. Sorry but if pressing buttons and playing other peoples patented shit is a being a musician then let god come down from heaven and smite me. ….(waits for it to happen)…. (nothing happens) hmm guess he agrees with me. 😛

    Like

  2. YES!!
    People deliberately insult musician by saying that those…those ….THINGS are musicians!!
    lol well thank you Im happy that I can contribute a subject to your list of Oddities.
    By the way you mention that your an artist? whats your passion:)?

    Like

  3. HAHA! I should ask for your permission now to use this quote “People deliberately insult musicians by saying that those…those ….THINGS are musicians!!” when I edit this post. :p Hmm, my initial passion was really to avoid doing anything serious but that became too hard, so I shifted to performing arts (singing,dancing,theater,acting civilized) and now I find writing as another very enjoyable art. Your turn.. 😀

    Like

  4. LMAO well you have my full consent to use it! its for the good of us, its for the good of humanity 😛
    Ah I see do you have anything I can see? maybe I can feature you on one of my posts as innovative artist. I am a singer/songwriter for two bands Lick the Stranger(currently recording) and Anatomy (taking a break) I also act. I have played for record labels, dozens of shows and been through the worst hell imaginable lol. I am now trying to offer a chance to other muscians, artist, painters, film makers a chance to share their art on our band page because its all about the art not about the money or the fame. Your in it because you love it. Interviews and showing your face out there means nothing to me, because unless you do something new, people will find you meaningless. Lick the stranger is a band page yes, but I want it to become an artist community.
    check out my post tomorrow and share it with your friends, im sure someone would like to be a part of it lol 🙂 including yourself 😀

    Like

  5. Which brings me to my First Tip when it comes to Teaching An Older Child the Alphabet and English Words: Do not assume that an older adopted child is the same as an ESL (English as a Second Language) Child.
    The only problem why we lack in communication skills as far as English
    language is concerned is that the pupils starting with kindergarten are
    not trained well by their teachers as regards the macro-skills in teaching a particular language.
    Because of this, it is imperative to determine first their difficulties
    and needs so that whatever materials a teacher purports to design should be in accordance with these needs.

    Like

This is the Brain Droppings Bin--use it.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s