Whoever first said that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and related it to parent – child relationships clearly doesn’t know my parents. Fine, that is an exaggeration. I do have some qualities possessed by…
…okay, moving on, ehem, I wanted to share the misfortune that has befallen the pathetic existence of my friend, Joan (sorry, Jo).
Joan had the revoltingly despicable perfect guy (if you’re not picky) for, say, 5 months now until she learned yesterday that he planted his seed on her best friend’s birth canal. I mean, wow, that guy must have secretly hated Joan. Or maybe the male specie just can’t control their hormones upon sight of a flirtatious human being with two protruding frontal milk reservoirs.
But whatever the reason is, I consider it an Oddity.
By definition, an Oddity is something that one either dreads to occur (occur, for it is in fact a calamity. Maybe I should have used calamity on the title. Nah, too lazy for that now…) and if it does it is impossibly difficult to dissect the mystery as to why you have allowed excess idiocy to pop up when you let it happen/did not see it coming.
Well, here is a list of the phenomena I consider as Oddities (in no particular order):
1.) BF planting seeds on BFFs V – zone
2.) Rents telling you you’re adopted (after you’ve convinced yourself that your chinky eyes are just a manifestation of some psychosomatic disorder rooted on guilt over your porn stash)
3.) The worst hairstyle of the century (yes, on your head)
4.) Darwin’s Theory of Evolution (so obvious, I don’t know why they had to wait for Darwin to patent it)
severe case of hirsutism, folks
5.) Gas explosion in the middle of a sermon (mmm – hm, from your A – hole)
6.) YOUR cat’s reign over the furniture (I am NO guilty in owning a cat – I’ve seen too much of that anomaly)
7.) Herpes (need I say more?)
the way I look on donuts has been changed forever
8. ) Snot – bubble in the middle of laughter (…hopefully not in front of your boss)
Ugh, kids!
9.) Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore being gay (I SHOULD have seen that coming!)
alright, alright, I admit! I’m a POTTERHEAD!
10.) Falling in love (that, dear friends, is a CALAMITY)
See? this is what I’m talking about…
So there you go, my first ten list of Oddities.That’s it. I’m done here. Now I have to inspire myself.
*All images courtesy of Google search
***P.S. Feel free to add to this list! :p
