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She entered the hall and, as always, all eyes were instantly upon her.

Most of those pairs were filled with raw lust, some with pure hatred, while others have what you can call that half-pitying, half-condescending look. And she was aware of all these, yet still did not betray any real emotion and acted as what her father expected of her – proud, graceful, and exceedingly superficial. For a thousand and one years she has done perfectly all that was demanded of her and she was not about to falter now. She laughed, and drank, and charmed all the men, and yes, even the women in the great hall. And as the night was about to end, she stood at once upon the boom of her father’s voice.

Faster than lightning bolts, all the other ladies disappeared, leaving her alone with the men to perform the last ritual.

This was expected, for this has happened every time her family gathers for a celebration. She stood in all her glorious nakedness in the center of the room as her cousins, uncles, nephews, and brothers fed upon her – relishing all that they could of her inexhaustible love essences. They fed ravenously as she made sure to look as one in complete ecstasy until her father voiced out his satisfaction. Then, as had happened with all the revelries for the past thousand years, all the men in the room formed a ring and watched with frenzied anticipation as her father, in all his kingly majesty, approached her to take the final feeding that will satisfy the desire he pleasurably formed all night. Thunder roared and lightning flashed as he ravished on her daughter, and when at last he reached full consummation, resulting in lightning sparks that seemed to turn the night sky to day, he marveled once again at his pure genius for creating her. Then one by one, all in less time to complete a mortal blink, they were all gone.

All except she, the world’s foremost symbol of love, who at that moment would have given everything to be anything but.

She garbed her shame and started towards the deepest dungeons, all the time maintaining the ever composed, proud, and insurmountably beautiful face. She did not once change her pace until she arrived on their chamber doors, opened it, and at last found herself looking at the man, the only man, who aroused in her the purest of love. The worlds of both men and gods looked at his face with repulsion, distrust, and contempt. But she who knows real love and genuine beauty takes one look at him, and only then could she find it possible to reveal her true form. If all beings, from monsters to gods, could not deny that she is Beauty and Love in one when they look at her, would have been blinded with sheer admiration when they see her reveal her truest, purest form in the comforting warmth of the man she loves.

Hush, hush, love…we’re together now,” consoled the fire god Hephaestus, as his broken wife shed all her life’s pretenses in his arms.

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If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn’t part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us. -Hermann Hesse (1877 – 1962), Demian I stand here in the balcony and weep, not for any cause, woes, and hurts noble but for mine and mine alone. The one time I …

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I’m completely at a loss.

I don’t know what to do, it’s not the first, but this time it’s crucial I need to know what to do. I know what I want, but unfortunately, what we want is not always what is right.

Or is it? Is it the one really important thing we need to focus our choices on?

I am torn between so many things I try to avoid thinking about them to avoid going nuts. But it’s just making everything worse because deep down I have this deep anxiety that stems from a voice saying, “You need to make a choice and you better do it quick“. It’s true really, even though I would kill whoever that punctiliously right voice belongs to (that’s right. Suicide. Pfft).

Nursing vs Arts?

Travelling vs Staying with the man I love?

Staying in vs Moving out?

Study now vs Study later?

To write vs Deleting this blog?

Ignore vs Slam the door twice to the face of the one knocking right now?

To be myself vs To conform?

Lady Gaga vs Katy Perry? (kidding, they’re both hideous. Sorry again, fans.)

To comment or To let things be?

To smile or To tell him/her his/her existence is so pathetic I wonder how he/she finds the guts to continue living?

To cry or To read?

To Publish or Not?

Argg@#$%^&*

Madness this is.

Gandhi Gone Mad!

I must have been a weird kid. The first time I can remember having someone I can call as more-than-just-another-dirty-kid from school (no, not a FRIEND yet) was in my third school back in first grade.

The first argument I’ve ever had though was in my first school in kindergarten – that was with a small girl with long, thick, unruly hair coupled with big, accusing, Gollum – like eyes who gave a high – pitched declaration that MY yellow book was hers simply because she has a picture of a frog holding a yellow square something (it’s NOT even a book!) plastered on her back pack. The memory was vague, but the fact that I felt like squeezing and shoving her tight inside the lockers and permanently joining those blabbering lips together, was remarkably clear.

But with great misfortune, a teacher stopped that idea from actualization. I don’t remember how she tore us apart, but I did get my yellow book back. Maybe she did what I was thinking herself.

I couldn’t hope for so much though.

The next events in my life were full of mystery. Maybe my body was possessed by another spirit. Or maybe I just happened to experience what they all call growing up. I gained many acquaintances; a number of what I do consider as friends, and my own share of mortal opponents. But what was common in all those relationships though was the ever persistent, stalking shroud of Insecurity – and though not obvious, it did seem to emanate from all of us.

It has the notorious potential to prevent acquaintances from ever becoming friends, turn mortal opponents into lifetime rivals, and end rather “Timon and Pumba”-esque friendships.

It was a phenomenon not limited to the walls of kindergarten and grade school classrooms, since much heavier bouts of insecurity flooded one from high school to college.

Is it really such an imperishable human trait?

Perhaps.

But worry not, incorrigibly insecure creatures! The cure for such a cataclysm is now available for all – “The Growing Up Capsule”!

It has such indisputable effects that you cannot find one single critic in the international pharmaceutical market. Although, one must sadly say it is a rarity that exceeds the likes of Ali Baba’s cave of gold, the city of El Dorado, or a video of Lady Gaga singing in front of the pope. “The Growing Up capsule” is that rare that even normal, successful 40-year old “man” beings have still failed to uncover its whereabouts.

But yeah, still, all is well. ;p

Once there was a Stick Man who lives in Stick Country with all his Stick Friends.

The Stick Man likes to walk around in Stick Country and stick his nose in all kinds of stick – y stuff.

In one of these nose – sticking hunts, he found a ‘Magazine’ with non – stick-y people on the pages.

He was so jealous of these non – stick-y people and all their shapes and curves that he vowed to do all in his power to stop being stick-y and start being like those magazine people – shape-y.

So he started his non – stick-y quest…

And set out on a journey to “Magazine Country”!

After 48,000 years…

As he entered its gates,

He went back to the gates and saw a sign posted:

And so, with a great incredulity, the stick man found out that the object of his desires…

*The original image of Chloe (girl with the blue-green hair) courtesy of http://lickthestranger.wordpress.com/

There was once a lady with a human mind – one that wants something so badly one moment, and desire the exact opposite the next. HUMAN.

She woke up all cranky and ugly, answering the people who greeted her with the enthusiasm fit for the day of one’s meeting with the Grim Reaper. Despite of  the efforts exerted by the people around her to cheer her up (or maybe because of it), she remained as Little Miss Stormy the whole day. And the root of it all was the failure of her prince charming to greet her on the first second of her birth date.

And so this person, who’s disputably the perfect embodiment of the word shallow sensible, went on making everybody’s day as depressing as it could be. She never went out of the room regardless of the calls of her mom, grandma, brothers, uncles, aunts, cousins, friends, and pet dog. She wallowed in self – pity as she stared for minutes on end at that seemingly overpowering speck on her ceiling.

Boy, that was the best birthday of her life! Or it could have been…

It could have been, if she only went out the door enough to see the banner, with all the greetings and wishes the people she ignored the whole day, made for her.

It could have been, if she have bothered to respond to all the people who greeted her via text message, posted in her online accounts, personally shouted (they have to since the door was an unrelenting opponent) their greetings to her, and those that even tried to call her.

It could have been, if she had been humble enough to open that door and taste the source of the stimulating smell coming from the world beyond her  door that she had been savoring for hours. But pride kept her.

It could have been, if she only appreciated the effort her prince charming gave out to compensate for his “fault” by sacrificing being the object of his boss’s tirade only to woo and try to get her to smile and open her door to the world.

It could have been, if only she hadn’t been so silly and frivolous.

It could have been the perfect birthday celebration, if she just tweaked her attitude. Even for just a little.

But she didn’t. And so she remained the cranky, old woman the whole day of her 20th birthday, and lived to write about it.

Image courtesy of Google Search

**P.S.

(The last sentence was not meant to imply that old people are generally cranky. Only some of them are. Some are perfect little angels. Others remain to be nasty demons behind wrinkled masks.)

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